I spent the next 20 years or so doing my best to be a good husband, father of our two children. Our son involved in ice hockey – my daughter with horseback riding. We moved form Pittsburgh to lived in Cherry Hill New Jersey, then to White Plains New York – then to Cincinnati, Ohio —all moves job and promotion related. Truthfully I did all I could to avoid any crossdressing – doing all I could to be a so called normal person. I would dress occasionally whenever I got the chance very privately – and always keeping my small suitcase filled with my small female wardrobe very secretly hidden – at least I thought so until one fateful day that changed everything in my entire life.
I came home one evening and was confronted by my wife with my open suitcase – and her demanding “ what was going on – was I gay – was I cheating on her? “ and many more questions like this. To cut a long story short – nothing I could say or do was going to reconcile this marriage – and one day I was presented with divorce papers.
Deborah Nicole
I knew I could no longer live in this city for now all my friends, neighbors, relatives, and business associates all knew all about the reason for the divorcee.
I decided to move to Tampa, Florida primarily because I loved to play golf and one of the best places in all USA was just outside of Tampa.
I spent the next 2-3 years trying to be a masculine guy – dated seriously several real females – when I thought the time was right – I was honest with them about my CD lifestyle – and ALL without exception wanted no part of this – and the relationship was over.
After this time I decided to take my preferred lifestyle out into the open public world. Went to several gay nightclubs and enjoyed every moment I was dressed and out in public. I also increased my female wardrobe as much as I could afford – practiced my makeup skills every day – and did all I could to be as feminine as possible.
I then discovered a famous huge gay nightclub in Ybor City/Tampa – similar to Bourbon Street in New Orleans called El Goya – famous all over USA for its incredible cabaret drag shows. I could not believe how beautiful these drag queens looked – and I loved every moment of watching them all perform.
Even got to know some of them – and was welcomed by club management every visit. Soon I was going there about 5 times a week.
Then I met a guy from upstate New York who had owned a very large nightclub in Niagara Falls – we became good friends.
We decided to get into the nightclub business in Ybor City andsoon discovered this famous El Goya – now re named Tracks – was for sale. We negotiated a lease – and soon we were the owners of this famous club. A problem built into the lease was a clause saying that there would always be a drag show at this club – the owners loved the shows – and we were stuck a bit since we planned to have a straight club.
We decided to work around this clause – spent a lot of cash redesigning the huge 8,000 square feet floor plan – made a straight side – in which was the huge showroom with stage – and the other side was gay. We even added a Cuban restaurant called Cohiba. We added a ton of new audio and video equipment – and it truly was an incredible new nightclub we called it the Pleasuredome and began to radio advertise as much as we could afford.
We hired around 50 employees including 6-8 drag queens to perform in the shows – 2 shows a nightly – and the place was spectacular.
First few months we averaged around 200 guests on a Saturday night – within 3 months we averaged 1,000 guests. It became the nightclub in Tampa and we learned the big attraction for guests was the fabulous drag show.
I had full access to the dressing rooms and was amazed at how talented and beautiful the girls were. One of them spent weeks teaching me all the makeup tricks and looks.
I decided to use my business experience and “developed Deborah” into a kinda PR/Public Relations person to further promote our club. Every weekend – Fridays and Saturdays – Debbie would dress in beautiful long skin tight evening gowns and go to the top restaurants in town – driven in a limo – like the world famous Cuban Columbia in Ybor City – with it’s famous Spanish’ Flamingo cabaret show – the lead dancer – a guy – would introduce me and bring me on stage where I would welcome everyone to the Columbia – and advise all the guests that after dinner here at this restaurant – we invite you to come to the Pleasuredome nightclub – see our fabulous drag show – and with no entrance cover charges and first drinks on Debbie and the house. I did this at several large packed restaurants – and within weeks our guests increased to around 1000 paid new guests each weekend. How I loved being the “ showgirl “ – and getting to wear all these fabulous gowns each evening.
Most of the drag queens we had hired had had breast implants – some had female hormones or silicone injections into face, hips, butt – and of course their breasts.
It was incredible for me to see these queens getting dressed for the shows – doing their makeup – and sitting at their booths half naked with breasts.
I decided I was going to see the medical doctor here in Tampa most of them had been going to – made the reservation – and arrived at this medical facility dressed as Deborah. When the MD doctor arrived in the room the first thing she said to me was “so you want to be a woman – lets see how we can do this.” She prescribed several HRT drugs – including Premarin and female estrogen injections – I began to take the Premarin daily – and the injections weekly. After about 3 months I began to feel almost painful feelings around the breast areas – nipple areas – and each week began to see and feel the breasts growing. As this went on – slowly I began to see the effects of these drugs. Cut a long story short – down below got much harder to get aroused – and soon the ejaculations were changing to milky watery fluids. I had been warned that these changes could/would be permanent – and I knew I could not handle this. So I decided to stop these drugs and gave away all the HRT drugs to a few of the queens. Looking back I know this for me was the right decision – for I knew the “ sexual “ part of my M2F lifestyle was definitely the erotic side of this life. Just being honest and the reality of how I felt.
I wondered I am sure how most of us might think about how a real female feels when having sex – the reality – does she just fake the organisms – or can she feel the incredible sensations that a male feels. Or does she just get “excited” knowing her female curves can turn on any male – and is just content with her seduction – especially wearing lingerie. Hope I am not offending anyone. No matter what – I just knew there was no way I could live onward without the erotic side of crossdressing and feeling like a female.
So after long serious talks with some doctors I knew – and knowing the rare medical long term risks I decided to do this. I did this seriously believing no real female would ever have a relationship with me with my lifestyle. So after about 3 sessions with these silicone injections I now had my own female breasts – about a B/C size – just enough to have small boobs with decent cleavage.
And I admit freely I LOVED having female breasts – and feeling them bounce around as I walked. Even more so when I began to run a bit faster – I could truly feel this feminine only sensation. I LOVED wearing dresses and tops to show them off – with as deep cleavage as I could make.
So finally now I felt like a real genuine female – and began to dress in female fashions almost all the time.
The few times I dressed as a male were when family etc. were around – and then I had to bind them so I looked like a normal male.
Now I am going to move forward about 22 years and much older – I had some serious medical problems, now almost recovered thank God – and lost about 40 pounds – from 180 to 145 pounds – problem was I lost all this weight in my entire body – but the silicone injections stayed the same – and now are a size D and DOMINATE my upper body.
Nothing I could do about this – most times I loved the look and feel – but now never ever could bind them down – so the days of going topless or even wearing a tee-shirt are forever gone. Another truthful side of having large female breasts later was the some serious heart issues I was having. Imagine going to your doctor – having to strip down to waist – in front of several nurses and the male doctors examining me for EKG’s etc. I was and still am very embarrassed when I need to do this – here I am as a male and having large D female breasts hanging down for all to see – and wonder what is this. Facts are I just ignored this situation and sat or laid there as If I had a normal male body. Truth is that never ever did any doctor or nurse ever ask me why I had female breasts – but I still wonder if my medical records are noted with “ this male has large female breasts.”
Maybe they all did not wish to ask or get involved with this – who knows. Again ALL I know is that most of the times even today I love having a female body. Today I weight around 145 pounds with measurements of 38D/34/38 – I think a quite “curvy” female figure.
We learned in the nightclub business you spend a lot of cash – you can make a lot of profit cash – you loose a lot of cash after about 5 years – reinvest a lot to renovate the interior – and after a few years begin to lose a lot of cash, where the objective has to be almost breakeven. Then as a business person – it is time to close up.
A lot of factors went into the decision to shut down/close – Ybor City changed a lot – competitive clubs made insane offers to compete with our business – like no cover until 11PM – ladies drink for free all night long – and some serious crime problems with gangs etc. Tampa people just moved on to other more safer nightclubs.
So now 20 years later after we closed up – I look back at the 12 years we operated the Pleasuredome club – they were almost the most memorable fantastic years of my life – with regrets – I moved on.
Perhaps later more details of the nightclub times – I could write a book on the good and bad/positive and negative events of these years.
For sure – the single best event of my entire life came from those Ybor days – the night I met my future wife – the beautiful talented 30 years younger female from Israel and Greece. Never in a million years could I have predicted getting married to her and being so happy. She met me as Deborah – and never blinked about my lifestyle.
Total acceptance from day one – and now after 18 years as happy as the day I met her – with no regrets.
Again, never could I have predicted that together with her cosmetic and female business background and experience combined with my own lifestyle and female wardrobe we would today have our own sucessful “male to female“ transformation business and for cisgender females.
I SINCERELY hope I am not coming across as boring and self-serving to promote our business. This is the first time ever I have put my life experiences in writing anywhere.
I do wish to maybe inspire others to live your own female dreams – never give up – be determined to be successful – and stand proudly as a female in your high stiletto heels.
Part Six – will be about our Sierra Studios M2F business – and where we are now in 2023.
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Category: Transgender Fun & Entertainment, Transgender History
