Have you ever had an encounter with a guy and only realized afterward that he was hitting on you?
Gay guys have been sharing such tales on Reddit. The original poster said he’d attended a Bear Pride event. Despite his introversion, he forced himself to go to a club on his own.
As soon as he entered, he realized he was overdressed. Most guys were topless or in harnesses. He ordered a drink and went to stand by a wall.
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As he did so, “This absolutely gorgeous guy steps in front of me and says something… The music was so loud and I’m not good at reading lips.
“I say ‘Huh?!!’ And he says something again. I say ‘huh’ again lol…. He then gently pulled me close to him. At this point, my hand made contact with his hairy sweaty chest and I could smell his musk…… A perfect situation right?
“Well, instead of me reading the signs that he wanted to dance with me, I thought he was trying to just inform me of something random. I blame it on me not having gone out in two years and coming straight from work to the club. My brain had not switched from work mode.”
Others chimed in with flirting that was too subtle for them.
“A colleague got drunk once and told me that all the years he kept telling me about how I had hands like a monster, how huge and scary I am… it had actually been flirting. I’d genuinely felt bad that the sweet man was intimidated,” said one.
“I don’t want to scare people and never considered it an option that people telling me that I look like a monster could be flirting. I can’t imagine telling someone I’m interested in that he’s scary. I’m still clueless.”
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College daze
Others shared tales from the college.
“A guy on my floor (seemingly straight soccer player, who I also had a crush on) kept complaining about how sore he was on AIM. I offered to give him a massage after he kept saying it. He came over and I rubbed him down with shorts on, then he took off the shorts and kept groaning when I rubbed his glutes.
“I kept asking if it was ok and he kept saying yes and lifting his boxer briefs up further and further, then just lowered them completely. After he laid around half nude on my bed talking for an hour. I made no move out of fear of a homophobic reaction. He came out a few years later.”
Another had a confusing encounter in a clothes store.
“This guy kept touching me and dragged me to a room to change clothes because he told me he was scared to be alone. I went with him and he undressed but thought to myself the sequence of his undressing was a bit weird to me for someone who wanna change clothes (basically undressing straight to just underwear).
“I turned my back and waited till he finished. Then stepped out of the room and met our other friends. One friend then pulled me aside and asked what happened inside and I said ‘Nothing, he just changed clothes.’ My friend smacked the back of my head and said he was flirting with you.”
Happy ever after
One guy proved that it’s sometimes never too late to turn a situation around.
“This is how dense I am: I had a really cute guy cut my hair. Afterward, I got a text, saying it was him and asking if my haircut was satisfactory. My dumb ass thought it was automated. Because people TOTALLY do that, right?
“It wasn’t until we matched on an app that we started dating. And we still are 😊”
Sweet!
You’d think if you met with someone on Grindr, there’s a good chance they were into you. Or would you?
“This is embarrassing, but I met with a guy on Grindr who had a faceless profile. He said he just wanted to hang out with someone while he waited for a ride back home. He came to my place. I legitimately thought he just wanted to hang out. He even stood in front of a window with his a** perked up. It went right over my head, and it took me years to realize he probably wanted to get laid. He was super hot, too.”
Flying low
Lastly, another guy, in his early 60s, recalled an early trip to the city and a stay in a gay hotel.
“As a country boy who started gradually coming out in a provincial university, I got an interview for my first proper job in the capital.”
The interview was on a Friday so he decided to make a weekend of it.
“The gay switchboard provided me with some ideas of where to visit and also details of a gay hotel, so I booked a room,” he continued.
“After the interview, I arrive at the hotel dressed up in my specially bought posh suit, a bit nervous but still trying not to look/act like a yokel. As the receptionist is dealing with me he asks ‘You are aware this is a gay hotel, right?’ I reply that I did whilst thinking he’s decided I’m an out-of-place idiot.
“After a shower and change of clothes I go exploring and when I get back it’s getting dark so I switch on the light which doesn’t work and head to reception to explain. Same guy on the desk asks if I can give him some time to sort it. I say I’ll go and get dinner and he says meet me here when you’re done and we’ll sort it out before I go off-duty.
“When I go back he has a step ladder and spare lamp and in the room changes the bulb. He asks me to hold the ladder steady so I’m facing his crotch and I spot his flies are undone so being the polite naive boy I was in those days I tell him. He responds, ‘Oh yeah, so they are’ changes the lamp, and asks me to test the switch. It works and as he packs up to leave. I say ‘Thanks, don’t forget your flies,’ he says, ‘I didn’t but never mind’ and as the door closes I’m left wondering if I missed out or if it was just wishful thinking. To be honest I still don’t know.”
Given that many of us are raised in a homophobic environment, it’s not hard to understand why we’re wary of flirting with strangers, or recognizing when others flirt with us. Even if we do suspect someone’s flirting, we can be scared to flirt back in case we’ve got it wrong.
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