By Ayre Kar
Ayre Kar
First, are we all supposed to be humans? We have an intellect so we should make good sense of things. How nature designed us, the gender thing is unique and there is a mix of likes, dislikes, and preferences that make us all unique.
Being a girl but being brought up as a male was hard, it feels so easy to say that now but not earlier in life when I did not know who I was or what was normal for me. But not knowing that I could be feminine and or afraid to show the feminine side of me either because I would be made fun of, or it just was not normal if I was masculine. Even though not knowing that I was different, or something was okay. So, life took its course and I now know from taking the tests.
I wanted to play with girly things when I was young, loved to walk femininely when I was 4, 5, and 6 years old and I chose the feminine color pink when my parents or others would say that boys do not choose that color or walk the way I did. I then chose a neutral color or non-feminine thing from what my first choice was and accepted that this was the norm and to accept it.
Well, now I realize it was my feminine side, wanting to be feminine or to do things that girls like to do. I wanted pink things and to do the girl things like having tea with mini teacups to doing feminine things and wearing a made-up dress or skirt from cotton sheets.
Should I feel embarrassed, is there something wrong with me?
In today’s world, I do not agree with exposing sexual acts to children when young. I knew that boys and girls were different when I was young but had no idea what sex was and had no desire to have sex until my teens. I think all kids should live life as kids and not push anyone on how they should feel or expose them to things that may confuse them.
Let all children be children as they wish but do not put them on hormones or surgery just in case it may not be the right thing to do when they may be just going through a phase or experimenting in their life. We should all respect one another regardless of what another chooses to be and not discriminate against others regardless of how they feel.
There are a variety of written tests that can be taken that can show your personality type and gender preference. These can be a tool for an individual to use to verify if how they feel is real in their being. I feel this way, as I now know I am. We must include what makes us feel happy and satisfied with ourselves in life.
I just hope all of us can live life the way we desire without others making judgments about us. I have witnessed that people have taken tests that did support how they felt and supported their feelings to be masculine or feminine.
When I was in my early thirties I met with a nurse and we had intimacy. She would tell me that I made love like a woman and that maybe I am a girl in a man’s body. Secondly, my hips are extra wide like a woman’s hips. Female figures are typically narrower at the waist than at the bust and hips and I am that way.
My skin has always been soft and smooth naturally and I look much younger, and I always get compliments.
Do I have a genetic dysfunction, I asked a geneticist to do a test and they refused so I just go along in life accepting who I am and do not worry about it. Maybe I have an extra Y, X or other chromosome or something. I like women so am I a lesbian? I now accept all genders and in living more as my feminine self I am more accepting of masculinity but love the feminine body.
I want to live my feminine life full-time, and can I find a female that will accept me, or a couple? Or I am open to meeting and being in a polyamorous relationship as well. I have a submissive side to me and love to give pleasure and it is very gratifying when I can bring pleasure to another and to get mutual respect and appreciation from them.
I have what scientists describe as a female brain: I am empathetic, sociable, and detail oriented. I like to work with others and believe in collaboration, not confrontation. I relish my pleasures, but they are mainly quiet ones, and I don’t believe in aggression.
So, in looking at all the tests, another said I was 97% female, I guess I am female so may I please be my natural self?
Another test says I have traits that apply to boys and girls, but I am most likely a girl based on my sweet, feminine personality.
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Category: Transgender Body & Soul
