Friend with benefits. A late-night booty call. Just “keeping it casual.”
There’s a million nicknames for the gray area between dating and single. And you’ve likely heard them all throughout the duration of Sex and the City.
But none have been quite as evocative or self-explanatory as “situationship.”
How about we take this to the next level?
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According to a new study by Top10, it’s not just a popular phrase. It’s a universal experience.
The survey, based on responses from American adults ages 18 and up, found that 60% of people are currently or have been in a situationship, defined as “an ongoing sexual relationship with an undefined future.”
And yes, if you’re wondering if that one guy from that one time counted, you’re probably part of the problem.
Interestingly enough, Baby Boomers were the generation most likely to have experienced the in-between sitch, clocking in at 45% compared to 41% of Gen X, 35% of Millennials, and only 32% of Gen Z.
Furthermore, situationships were not overwhelmingly exclusive to any single method of dating.
Per the report, 26% of respondents said their situationship got started through a dating app, closely followed by an in-person meeting (25%) and via social media at 15%.
Considering LGBTQ+ people use dating apps in higher numbers than our straight counterparts, it’s likely that we tend to be in more situationships, too. (Just what we needed! Another reason to complain about Grindr.)
Perhaps that’s why a whopping 71% of Baby Boomers would not “recommend ‘situationship-friendly’ dating apps,” compared to 43% of anti-app Gen Zers.
The only generation that seemed to really understand the pros and cons of apps were Millennials, who were evenly split with both 41% recommending and not recommending the apps.
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Still, with Hot Gay Summer on the horizon and Gay Twitter thirst in the air, situationships don’t have a great rep.
A reported 92% of people believe “there are stigmas attached to be in a situationship,” namely that one person is being taken advantage of, they are just in it for the sex, or that one or both parties are “just afraid of commitment.” Oop!
Nevertheless, men were 10% more likely to feel that were benefits to situationships than women. Are we surprised?
According to male respondents, the best benefits were “a consistent sex partner” and having the space to “explore their feelings” for another person.
Now why we do have an overwhelming urge to watch Call Me By Your Name all of the sudden?!
With the above in mind, we should be able to conclude that situationships are “no-harm, no-foul,” as long as both parties are aware of their circumstances. Right?
Well, not exactly. As the survey revealed, the biggest drawback of being in a situationship is “the presumed lack of a meaningful connection,” followed by “potential confusion about boundaries,” and “feeling used.”
Unfortunately, knowing these results might not help you lock down a relationship or break free from the chains.
But the survey does show any straggling singles in the LGBTQ+ dating scene that you’re not alone.
And at least the phenomenon has given us some incredible bops. Namely, this one from queer pop star Chappell Roan‘s debut album The Rise and Fall of a Midwestern Princess.
Over moody synths and candid lyrical omissions, on the track –– which has been streamed over 47 million times on Spotify –– Roan dares to ask the most-dreaded question in any situationship: “Is it casual now?”
Watch.
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