Deborah Nicole: My Story, Part 3

Deborah Nicole: My Story, Part 3

Immigration to USA / NYC — my American Dream begins

As I write this I am surrounded by everything any real female could ever have — our male to female transformation “ Sierra Studios “ are filled with all kinds of fashions, wigs, heels, it is truly a cross dressers paradise with everything needed to transform any male into a fabulous female. It is all a personal dream come true for myself and for the many guests who come here to become the woman of their dreams. Outside of the business cash rewards — our # 1 priority is making our valued guests happy, teaching them makeup, how to take their CD lifestyle to much higher levels of female perfection, presenting them with many photos of how they can look as a female – to be treasured forever — privately. We operate at half the price of all other similar studios and we take their privacy seriously.

Our greatest pleasure comes from having a wife attend a session and understand her husband’s secret life and helping him become a female. As we say — true love is making your partner as happy as possible.

My wife and I love what we do — and we are good at it.

The voyage from Southampton to New York City took 5 days aboard the SS United States. Immigration into the USA back then was a lot easier than it is today — aside from our current border situation. Once people cleared customs it took about 3 hours to be admitted into America, if you had a valid Immigration visa. The cheapest place to stay was the NYC YMCA and I soon learned where to find food at the lowest prices. I was 22 years old and alone in this city — determined to make my American dream of a good life a reality. It was also a time to forget and put behind me any thoughts of being a female — and try to just be a normal male focused on masculine success.

As I looked around this great city I was amazed at the high buildings, the huge American cars, and the millions of people — compared to rural Ireland and even London. Soon I discovered Times Square with all the sex stores and related adult businesses. But first I had to get my Social Security Card so I could get a job. A few days later I was hired by a major food company and asked to start my career in Chicago — rented a car — and a week later arrived in the windy city and another YMCA.

As much as I tried to be a normal male always was this longing to be wearing female clothes. Finally I bought a female panties, a garter belt, stockings, a small bra always worn under my male clothes and a negligee to sleep in. I still felt I was the only male person alive who only felt comfortable wearing female clothes. I knew I was not attracted sexually to males and only wished to be with real females. Looking back I still wonder if it was the female beautiful body or the incredible female fashion only women were able to wear.

Everywhere I went I would admire the makeup, fashions etc. and wonder what they might be wearing under the dresses. Compared to Irish and English females American women seemed to be even more attractive, for as styles changed they seemed to be wearing shorter skirts and lower cut tops showing lots of breast cleavage.

I will not bore you with details of my male life — my work was rewarded with promotions to several more cities — with salary increases. I got married and had two children and life as a male was good. No matter how much I tried to become a normal male with sports — always was this “ I need/want “ to be a female inner feeling. As time went on I found myself buying more and more female clothes and hiding them away from anyone. I would visit adult stores and buy transgender and female magazines to enjoy later alone in my hotel room. This way before the Internet and I still have all these magazines still today. These models served as my inspiration to be as feminine as possible. As I travelled with my job staying in motels I would dress up and practice my makeup every chance I could.

Soon my female confidence level made me think was I passable enough to venture outside dressed in female clothes. I began by just stepping outside my hotel room — looking out onto public places. Later I learned it was best to get a ground floor room with my car as close as possible. As time went by I would dress and it was a thrill just to drive around alone in the car pretending I was just another girl out in public. The next big step for me was to drive to a shopping mall, park the car — get out and just walk around as a female in my heels. I was honest enough with myself to know I looked like a man in a dress — and others would see me as such. I knew then and now know any male can pull on a dress and a wig — but if you realistically want to pass as a female you must learn how to do your makeup properly. I would practice this art every chance I got, learn the makeup skills from beauty books, put on the cosmetics, remove it all, and do it all over again.

My first real out in public as a female came a few years later in a far away city when I had the confidence and determination to go shopping dressed as a female. I needed to see for myself for sure if I could look like a woman out in public or not. I planned out each minute of my trip and transformation down to the last female detail. Decided on a weekday when stores would be less busy, decided on a hotel and destination mall, on arrival at ground floor hotel laid out my entire female wardrobe on a bed, I then shaved my entire body for first time ever from all masculine hair — covered myself with a perfumed body lotion, and began to get dressed in a bra, panties and stockings. Then I started my makeup with a dark sultry look with bright red lipstick until I felt it was as best as I could do. I felt and looked so feminine — as I checked myself out in the large tall mirror. I stuffed my black bra with tissue making my breasts as large as possible. I pulled on a waist cincher to make my waist as tight as possible. I inserted hip and butt foam pads inside my panties to give me a female shape. I pulled on a fairly tight red dress – to just about my knees and with low cut top. I pulled on a long auburn wig. I stepped into a pair of 3” heels. I added a necklace and 2 bracelets. I painted my nails. I remember two things — touching my legs covered in stockings and how wonderful it felt and looking down at my breasts and seeing cleavage.

Finally after all the years I felt so beautiful, sexy, even erotic as a female. I filled my purse with car keys, cash, lipsticks drivers license , trying to be one step ahead of anything that might happen.

I also learned that day looking into a full length mirror if I got “ turned on?” I must look ok — I still feel this way today.

Outside I went and walked slowly to my car — and drove to the mall. With no hesitation I walked to the mall entrance and knew there was now no turning back. No one blinked as I walked around about three fashion stores — and purchased a few dresses and skirts. I do remember a sales associate asking if I needed some help, I knew my male voice would give me away — and I just replied “ yes — I am looking for dresses for a friend exactly my size — do you know what I mean? She just smiled and did help me find some pretty dresses — in my size 12.  I even went to a coffee shop —sat there admiring my legs and feeling as happy as any female could ever be. No one bothered me all that day and soon it was time to leave, go back to hotel, change back into a male with sadness.

From that day forward I never looked back and went on to the life I now live.

All these past years I have spent dividing my life with both genders, living one day at a time, and always thinking of how I can improve my Miss Deborah’s female appearance. And like so many of you finding it tougher to look feminine as the years roll on and we get older.

Again never could I have imagined any of the things that were to follow —  detained by police investigating a murder, being discovered by my wife with almost immediate divorce, moving to Florida, becoming a drag show performer, being a female GO GO  dancer at a straight nightclub, co owning a large drag nightclub- open to everyone , being head judge of the # 2 drag pageant in all USA, getting re married to a beautiful real female, having another daughter, and having our own male to female transformation business studios. All this while maintaining a successful male business career.

To Be Continued. . .

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Category: crossdressing, History


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