This disgruntled Madonna fan is the new meme queen—and a style icon with an emotional story to tell
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Image Credits: TikTok, @CosmoQueenOfMelrose
With her blockbuster Celebration Tour, pop queen Madonna has been looking back at her historic, four decade-long career, while also sharing her platform with contemporaries (we’re still not over that Kylie Minogue cameo) and the next generation of artists.
But the latest star to come out of the Celebration Tour? They weren’t on the stage at all—in fact, they were stuck outside in the parking lot.
Their name is Cosmo Lombino, a.k.a. “The Queen Of Melrose,” and Madonna owes them a t-shirt… and a lap dance.
How about we take this to the next level?
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Like many Southern Californians, Cosmo (who’s preferred pronouns aren’t listed, so we’ll continue using they/them in this post) made the trek to the Kia Forum last week to see one of Madonna’s five shows at the Inglewood venue. In a video captured by a friend pre-show, Cosmo pops off about the laborious parking situation, noting they paid “80 bucks to park the car like 10 blocks away.”
“So I just got my cardio,” Cosmo cracked in their instantly iconic rasp. “I need an oxygen tank and a cigarette at the same time.”
Then they proceeded to air out their grievances about the venue’s bag policy, showing off their cute leather purse that nevertheless was not deemed suitable by security to be taken inside. “They said you have to have a clear bag,” Cosmo shares. “When was the last time you worked at Macy’s, b*tches? I can’t!”
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Complaints aside, it’s obvious Cosmo’s rant was all in good fun—they were just excited to be there and see Madonna do what she does best. But, considering the hassle, couldn’t the legendary pop star at least throw a longtime fan a bone?
“Madonna, what is going on?,” Cosmo asks at the end of the video. “You owe me a t-shirt, b*tch… and a lap dance!”
Honestly, every second of Cosmo’s diatribe is iconic—from that aforementioned rasp to those luscious locks of hair to their way with words—so it’s no surprise the moment has gone viral across multiple social media platforms. Over on TikTok, where they first posted the video, it’s got 1.5 million views and hundreds of thousands of likes.
The clip also made its way to Twitter X where it’s racked up a whopping 14.9 million views, and is turning Cosmo into the star they so clearly deserve to be!
What’s her story? What was she doing in the 80’s? I’d call out of work just to hear lore. I would love to queen out with her. https://t.co/slm4nLKLLu
I literally can’t stop thinking about this. I don’t think she knows how many lives she changed. Instant staple in the meme/reaction vid canon https://t.co/XOXGBSDjA0
But Cosmo Lombino is way more than just a meme. They’ve got quite the story to share, and we’re glad this viral moment is bringing their fabulousness from Melrose Avenue to the rest of the world. Let’s dive in, shall we?
Who is Cosmo Lombino, the Queen Of Melrose?
Long before their request for “a cigarette and an oxygen tank” made them an internet darling, Cosmo Lombino made a name for themself as a designer and stylist to the stars, with an eye for fashion as extravagant as their personality.
Recognized as the “Queen Of Melrose,” Cosmo has had various clothing stores on Melrose Avenue—the central LA hub of fashion and shopping—for over 35 years. Along with artist and photographer Donato Crowley, they run the fashion company Cosmo + Donato, which has owned and operated the Cosmo’s Glamsquad boutique on Melrose since 2010, among others.
Through their decades of work, Cosmo has styled everyone from Beyoncé to Gwen Stefani, and is credited as one of the editorial eyes who have helped shaped LA’s signature “gritty couture” look, with a philosophy that every customer is a supermodel.
As Cosmo tells it, they give the gift of fashion to “celebrities, the girl next door, the girl going to prom—you could literally walk in my store, and everything’s priced from $29.99 to $29,000.” In other words, they don’t just work for the lifestyles of the rich and the famous—they aim to offer something for everybody.
A longtime staple of the Los Angeles scene, it’s clear their moment in the spotlight is way overdue. And not entirely accidental! Just last month, they created a TikTok account, which features plenty of videos of their fashion and styling work, but even more clips of Cosmo just being their delightful self, sharing their life with the world. Judging from the enthusiastic comments on each of their TikToks, Cosmo was destined to become a star.
Around that same time, they also started a YouTube channel with an ongoing series called—what else?—”Queen Of Melrose,” giving viewers a peek inside Cosmo’s never boring life and career.
With all the attention Cosmo’s been getting online lately, folks have been asking, “Where is their reality show???” Well, your answer is right here! (If someone at Bravo hasn’t already given this diva a call, their programming team is slacking! This right here is a personality made for television!)
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But for the fuller, deeper look at what makes Cosmo Lombino so special, we highly recommend their candid and eye-opening interview with photographer and filmmaker Mark Laita for their project “Soft White Underbelly.”
In the video piece, Cosmo opens up about their influential career, their unique upbringing in New York City (which they liken to Goodfellas), and their own battles with addiction. It’s a truly inspirational conversation, and one that’s making an impact on anyone who watches.
“Probably the most interesting person I’ve ever listened to,” one viewer commented. “You have such a beautiful & wise soul, Cosmo!!,” adds another. Cosmo Lombino has a story to share, and we’re so glad the world is finally taking a moment to listen.
You can watch Cosmo’s full “Soft White Underbelly” video below. Sure, it’s 37 minutes long, but we promise it’s worth it!
