What’s life like after settling down? How does one move on from the hectic work-gym-Grindr-nightclub cycle once one is boo’d up?
Redditors of r/askgaybros shared what they and their partners do on a typical evening after user jrhodes4797 asked about their after-dark rituals.
“In my relationship, evenings are my favorite,” jrhodes4797 wrote. “I work from home, and he usually arrives between 4:30 [and] 6 depending on the day and how busy the gym was. I’m usually finishing up dinner or we head to a local place (we try to have dinner together every day) followed by relaxing. He usually gets into some gaming, I’ll be on the couch with him, watching TikTok. Or we go out on the porch and have a nice chat. Occasionally we’ll have plans with friends, but during the week we tend to be homebodies. How about you?”
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Below, check out Reddit users’ replies—polished for print, as usual, but unabridged.
“An infinite number of the same question back and forth: ‘What would you like to watch?’”
“During the week is me getting home, going to the gym twice a week, and hanging out with my hubby, eating together, and sometimes watching the TikTok videos he has selected, thinking I’ll enjoy them. We go to bed together at the same time, chat for a bit, and then sleep. Sometimes we have a little fun, but it’s often reserved for weekends.”
“Take kid to karate if she hasn’t already biked herself there; we go lift while she’s at practice. So convenient that they’re in the same spot. Make dinner. We take turns, and increasingly she helps cook (she’s 14 and we teach and preach independence so that’s why she knows). Watch TV/read/help with homework/chat with each other/game nights. She goes to bed/we go to bed. It’s routine and usual and sometimes boring most of the year. Summer vacation is a little different. We have an old family tradition where the grandparents take the kids for several weeks so the parents get a break. She gets to have an amazing time with her cousins. We get to have grown-up time. Those evenings are a lot more fun.”
“Since neither of us are out to our family, we spend our evenings together grabbing either coffee or each other, jokes. We spend time either sharing TikToks, talking about work, and just driving around. Sometimes we do our errands together.”
“We both work 8-to-5 schedules. He usually plops on the couch the whole evening, watching TV shows he’s seen before or playing video games. I’ll cook or pick up dinner, let the dogs out a couple times, and try to figure out what to get myself into. Sometimes I surf, read, or do games/apps on my iPad on the couch with him. Other times I’ll go to another room and watch TV. It’s really been bothering me lately how little we have in common and how much he just ‘takes over’ our shared spaces. But after 14 years, you learn to live with it.”
“Before we adopted our son, I would usually meet [my partner] at the gym. He would do weights, and I would do the elliptical and swimming laps. We would go home, and he would cook us dinner. We would watch cooking shows at night, as he was very into cooking. He liked to go to bed early, and I hated going to bed early. I am a creative guy and my creativity hours would usually start at 9 p.m. When we adopted our son, it became a package deal. [Our son] had a friend in school who stayed at our house during the week. Then his older brother started staying at our house. Their parents lived less than a two-minute walk from our house. Their mother was a school teacher, and she would come over each night to help them with their homework. So there was a lot of family time. On weekends, they would stay at the other parent’s house, so husband and I would do date night on Saturday night.”
“Two professionals in our house—no children, just a well loved doggy. Weeknights are usually spent feeling tired from really long work days. My partner often will watch TV to unwind, and I will read. Sometimes I enjoy watching him while he watches TV. Friday nights in our house is date night, that’s also off-leash night on my normal strict diet. Weekends are domestic errands and weight-training at the gym. Mornings are best for me, because I wake up, look next to me, and think how lucky I am to be with the person I dreamed of. We have been together 17 years and it gets better every year.”
“His day job is a mechanic, but he’s also been a farmer his whole life. He works 8 to 5 Monday to Friday at the shop, and when he gets home around 5:30, if I’m not working, I’ll usually have supper ready, and we eat. Then he goes outside and tinkers on his farming stuff til 8 or 9 at night. Then he’s showering and in bed by 9:30 or 10. Sometimes he’s back earlier, and we have time to spend chatting in bed or something. Nothing too eventful happens during the week. I’m OK with that though. I do what I want, and he does what he wants. If he’s not too tired at the end of the day, I’ll get a good pounding in.”
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“We are mostly domestic, but we like to go out and people-watch. We love sidewalk culture where you can sit over a latte and watch the parade of life go by. We’re big-time bookworms. We love community events at colleges and universities. One of our main things is to get a B&B way out in the boonies, take our books and music, and just chill, the two of us. We especially love the High Plains desert and mountains by the sea, and we go into a nearby town once a day for a meal out. We are pretty self-sufficient together. As far as being locked down during COVID, we enjoyed being able to spend all day together, and almost felt sad when the lockdown ended.”
“I’m in a relationship, but we don’t live together, so we usually see each other from Thursday to Sunday. If we have nothing going on for the day/weekend, we usually have friends over, play video games, or play card games. Since it’s now summer, we’ll have more ‘out’ things to do. Going on a road trip this weekend.”
“I’m 24, and he’s 30. On weekdays, we get home from work around 5, and it usually begins with me prepping dinner. I love to cook, and we try to have a sit-down dinner every night. Then we usually take an edible and retreat to the couch for some shows, then we’ll go for walk. It usually ends up with us doing some chores around the house and getting ready for bed around 10 p.m. Weekends usually are our fun days with no agenda. We usually sleep in, and afterwards, hike, eat out, and spend our free time doing whatever comes our way.”
“Love this question. My evenings with my husband are calm, cozy, and sometimes routine. We have dinner. Sometimes we order in during the week, but we like to cook. Sometimes I cook while he watches TV or (rarely, lol) vice versa. We have a weird nostalgic tradition where we drive out at night to a Wawa or Sheetz to get a soda. Just to get out of the house and enjoy one another’s company. We usually watch something on TV just before bed. I struggle to wake him up so that we can go to the bedroom because he always falls asleep watching it. We pack the gym bag before bed and put clothes out for the next day. My dog oddly wants us to sit near his food while he eats. I make sure he goes to the bathroom before I head to bed. Friday nights are always date nights. We go out to dinner (almost always a sit-down place), occasionally a movie. It’s the part of the week we look forward to most. All of this feels so mundane, but that’s what’s great about it. It is comforting. Also, when we take vacations or trips, which we do often, they feel that much more special.”
And one commenter summed it up best by adding: “So reading these comments, the reality of gay, lesbian, straight and bi pretty much sounds the same.”
Cheers to all of you and your plus ones!
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