Landlord demanded proof that I don’t have Grindr on my phone — is this a red flag?

Landlord demanded proof that I don’t have Grindr on my phone — is this a red flag?

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A man is asked to prove he doesn't have Grindr on his phone
Posed by model (Photo: Shutterstock)

A man’s question on Reddit has gone viral and prompted hundreds of responses. He’s looking for somewhere to live but was not expecting a potential new landlord to grill him over his app use.

“So I just moved into a new town,” said @fondeic99 on the AskGayBros subreddit. “Found an apartment really close to where I work, looked nice, and was not expensive. I contacted the landlord and we arranged to meet so I can see the apartment in person.

“We engaged in some small talk and he was talking about how nice it is to be a grandfather and things like that and asked me if I have kids or a girlfriend to which I told him I’m gay so yeah no… I immediately notice his demeanor changed a bit and I was like ‘Oh boy here comes the homophobia.’

“He said that’s cool he is not opposed to it at all but he heard how gay apps are basically ‘doordash for sex’ and he doesn’t want people bringing someone every day into his apartment and making his place a sex den.

“I told him that I’m not like that, I’m an introverted guy and don’t really like to meet so many people this way. He said that he needs proof of it and demanded I show him what I have on my phone. I didn’t actually have Grindr installed so I showed him I didn’t have it. I was going through the apps and after he saw it’s not there he made me go to the app store to see if the Grindr page says ‘download’ or ‘open’…”

He continued, “I was pretty taken aback by all this but I really like the place and it is literally next to my workplace. I’m worried though that he might do other controlling things that are not legal while I’m staying there. Do you think I should rent the place? I’m staying at my aunt’s right now so I don’t really have much time on my hands to look for other places.”

And the verdict is…

After the post appeared on Tuesday, the responses blew up. Most people felt the same way: The original poster should find somewhere else to live.

“Trust your gut instinct. this is a red flag,” was the most well-liked reply, with over 2,000 upticks.

“This is a huge red flag and also is illegal,” suggested another. “This landlord is likely to be all kinds of invasive and intrusive.”

“Could not possibly have more red flags,” said a third. “How the f*ck does a straight (supposedly) old dude know about the apps. Nobody in my life who is his age has a clue. (Also) Insanely nosy and a strong indicator of how he conducts himself. Your privacy will absolutely not be respected.”

Grindr logo on iPhone
(Photo: Shutterstock)

Others also wondered about the older man’s knowledge of Grindr.

“How is no one saying that the old man is probably on Grindr himself and doesn’t want to get busted?”

Queerty reached out to the man who posted the message to find out if the huge response helped him make up his mind.

“I wanted to post because the place was nice, affordable and was basically next to my workplace,” he responded. “The landlord wanting to check my phone to make sure I wasn’t using Grindr was pretty shocking but I thought maybe it was just an isolated incident.

“I just moved in with my aunt (Chicago, Illinois) and despite this incident I was pretty eager to rent it because I didn’t want to bother my aunt and it was so convenient.

“I knew what the landlord did was inappropriate and weird, but I was never prepared for the massive amount of replies.”

He said he was only expecting around four or five people to voice their opinion.

“When the post reached 500 comments telling me that is unacceptable and to avoid the place at all costs, I was 100% convinced I should look for another place.

“If I hadn’t posted it I would have most likely rented the place, so I thank my community for opening my eyes basically.”


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