Casey DeSantis is trying really, really hard to convince voters her husband is a real person and not some bizarre Heritage Foundation cyborg. But her efforts to humanize Ron keep backfiring.
Instead of presenting the image of a wholesome family man, Casey makes it seem as if the concept of parenting is foreign to the flailing Florida governor.
Her latest failed charm offensive happened Monday night at a South Carolina BBQ, where she was filling in for Ron, who was back home due to last weekend’s racist killings in Jacksonville. Casey started her stump speech with an anecdote about some parenting advice she supposedly bestowed upon her hubby while she’s off campaigning.
But her guidance is…pretty basic? And makes one wonder whether Ron “Don’t Say Gay” DeSantis is actually even capable of caring for himself, never mind other life forms.
“Like wait a minute, I have to remind him that the kids brush their teeth before he puts them to bed tonight,” she said.
There are a couple of strange things about that statement. First of all, there doesn’t seem to be an alternative, right? How would somebody brush their teeth after going to bed?
And secondly, has Ron ever put their kids to bed before? Why would he need to be reminded about something so simple? (The answer to that inquiry is unknown, considering Casey keeps weirdly referring to their children as “my kids,” making Ron come across as some sort of interloper.)
The rest of Casey DeSantis’ speech Monday was full of other transparent attempts to make Ron come across as a normal dad. For example: prior to last week’s debate, she says the gay-hating governor spent his time (checks notes)…telling their five-year-old to stop locking his younger sister in the bathroom and coloring on the hotel room walls.
“We just got back from a five-day swing with a six, five and a three-year-old, because somebody thought it would be a really good idea to bring small children to the first Republican debate for President of the United States,” she said, as if her and Ron can’t exercise free will.
“Everybody was asking, ‘What was the governor’s pre-debate routine?’ Honestly, he was negotiating with a five-year-old as to why you cannot lock the three-year-old in the bathroom, and why you can’t jump on the bed and color on the walls in the hotel. That was honestly what was going through all of our minds before we went out there.”
Hmm…so maybe that’s why Ron was an awkward mess at last week’s debate. He couldn’t worry about getting his talking points down, because he was too busy rescuing his three-year-old from the hotel bathroom!
For christs sake stop bringing up their ages.
I genuinely want to see this wannabe Disney Princess/Jackie O melt down on television
— Joe Hill (@vintagejoehill) August 29, 2023
I can’t even watch this it’s just too much
— Frank Giugliano (@nyccookies) August 29, 2023
Audience: “Ooooo… What brand of crayons were they, Casey?” pic.twitter.com/LSXAxgwzLS
— Mike Morton (@TheMikeMorton) August 29, 2023
It gets worse every second.
— ASHY (@AshyJMB) August 29, 2023
Months ago, politicos thought Casey DeSantis could be the secret weapon of her husband’s campaign, but that was before she started cutting virulently homophobic ads and striking out during Fox News softball interviews.
Amidst all of her poll-tested family stories Monday, she couldn’t help but take a cheap shot at Joe Biden and his family.
Big cheers for one of her critiques of the Biden admin/family, saying her husband would be a POTUS “who helps the children in the White House w/ homework instead of cocaine.” pic.twitter.com/8yu5JgPn8S
— Meg Kinnard (@MegKinnardAP) August 28, 2023
Gross. Did you know, by the way, the DeSantis’ have young kids?
“We’re the first young family to be in the governor’s mansion in probably about 50 or 60 years,” said Casey.
Amusingly, Casey, a former news anchor, also made sure to tell the BBQ crowd about her and Ron’s supposed humble beginnings before his foray into politics. She told the audience they started their family in a 1,700-square foot home, which makes the governor’s mansion seem really big!
But here’s the thing: before moving to Tallahassee, Casey and Ron lived in Ponte Vedra, a swanky Jacksonville suburb that is considered a “top destination for luxury home buyers.”
Hopefully none of those right-wing BBQ fiends have access to Google!
“We came from like a 1,700-square foot home when we were in Ponte Vedra, which is just south and east of Jacksonville,” she said. “And we move into the governor’s residence, which is really cool. It’s really big, and it’s a little bit like living in a museum.”
And what problems have the DeSantis’ incurred since moving into the governor’s residence, you ask? Their three-year-old keeps drawing on the walls!
Can somebody buy this poor kid a coloring book?
“There goes my three-year-old running into the state dining room with macaroni and cheese-colored crayons, and then I see the governor running out after her to try and get it off with a magic eraser,” she said. “So our goal is to try and not do any damage to Florida’s irreplaceable history.”
Hopefully Casey’s efforts to preserve Florida’s past go better than her attempts to save her husband’s futile campaign. Given the current state of things, Ron “Don’t Say Gay” DeSantis might want to use a magic eraser to wipe out more than his three-year-old’s dining room doodles.
THAT is supposed to humanize Governor Ron? Everyone there must have been checking their watches to figure out if it was too early to sneak out with a canned excuse.
— Bearly Anyone (@AnyoneBearly) August 29, 2023
Pretty sure Ron makes his kids wear nametags because he’s only met them a few times
— Ant Murdering She Devil (@ShelleyElwood) August 29, 2023
Those children should be playing in a park, a backyard or their own living room rather than carted around as props for a speech.
— Parker (@ConleyParker) August 29, 2023
I can’t believe people can sit there and listen to this snooze fest.
— nomadofwaves (@nomadofwaves) August 29, 2023
I don’t believe a word of that story. That’s some cheesy BS.
— Dirt Squirrel (@picosanchez1978) August 29, 2023